我非常地不肯定

早晨醒来，才发现夜里流了很多血，每次过于紧张，都是这样的。

本来，Tom 谈奖金的事情，后来，又因为要做middle term review, 我的心又马上黯淡了。我们都有些失望，他认为我做得不够好，我也这样认为。我很直率地说，我有些失去hope， 对自己怀疑，不知能不能达到他的期望。但实在说，这份工作就是这般艰难，比我以往的工作要艰难10倍。没有足够的经验，就要独当一面，谁不是每周工作55-60小时？而且，我不敢直接告诉他我对他有非常失望的一面。美国人自私，一切替自己想，又短视，我当初对他说我需要什麽，他就是不听，不给我机会。可他是老板，永远正确。

下了班，心里非常难受，走得很慢，有一种深邃的孤独和失败感。在这个城市里生活10年了，一路艰辛，这条路上的挫折太多了，虽然每次都挺过来，可付出的挣扎是辛酸的。我非常地不肯定，是不是再应该坚持下去。

很想和一个人说说这些，但我又知道，没人要听, 每个人都有自己的日子要过。想到这里，非常sad。 走到终点的路是无人相伴的。也知道我的悲伤是因为我全心全意，尽心尽力，可两手空空。

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Chat with FuSheng

Ju:OMG, I just love St dude and 行人, doesn't matter whether they are right or wrong, they certainly know how to make their point. Cafe is more and more interesting:-)

FuSheng:I have to admit that I love st dude slightly better. 行人 occasionally loses his grip but st dude never, although they are equally persistent:)) They both are cute.

Ju: Yes, compare to st dude, touche is just as that boy who holds his little dick. (The picture St dude just posted :-) Gosh!

FuSheng: Hahaha, oh, lord, that's what touche is in your mind? Poor touche ... Now I have sympathy for him :)) btw, I know this touche used to be devil, as alluded by you more than once, but is he also that legendary gadfly?

Ju:Yes, he is gadfly :-) I feel all my hard work paid off since now we have more and more intelligent people,it will be better and better.like snow ball :-)

FuSheng: Somehow I don't have a clear impression of wukong as he often appears together with 行人 so I sometimes mix them up. I'll put him in the same league as 行人 but less persistent, good for him :)

Ju:I thought wukong is a teammate of touche :-)

FuSheng: Really? I'll pay more attention to wukong. Somehow touche always jumps out so I thought he was unique :) I'm very curious what touche's reaction would be if he knew how you portrayed him :)) Will we have the pleasure to see that at the cafe?

Ju: I guess I need a majia to do it, but if so, it won't be too dramatic :-) I'll think about it :-)
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Ju: haaa, I did it in the name of God :-) he is really annoying :-)