Wednesday, May 26, 2010

无法写出的题目

早上和妈妈爸爸聊天:

爸爸说:你看,现在都围着我转。

我说:你是老可怜儿。

爸爸听了笑了,我却心沉得不行。真的,人老了,有病,真是很可怜。

我问妈妈:郑阿姨现在在北京,不在美国?

郑阿姨是妈妈北师大的大学同学,她的丈夫是爸爸北大的大学同学,我叫他沈伯伯。他们两个儿子都在美国,老早就把老两口接到美国了。去年我回北京,还听说老两口犹豫不决是要回中国,还是留在美国。

妈妈说,他们在北京。沈伯伯得了胰脏癌,也无法治了,医生说住医院,沈伯伯不肯,郑阿姨把他接回家,24小时随身护理,夜里两个钟头醒一次,吃止疼药。

我长叹。郑阿姨比妈妈还大几岁,身体也不好。我还一直拿他们做榜样,让爸爸妈妈来美国。两个儿子还是无法照顾父母。

时间岁月就这样不知不觉地溜走了。我最近才突然醒悟,父母一代都风烛残年了。我出国后,很少见沈伯伯和郑阿姨,大概2002年见过一次。也许,再也见不到了。

妈妈说,你不要太着急了,我不累。

我死的心都有了。

姑姑姑父说,我们照顾爸爸。姑姑姑父把我带大了,又带妞妞,现在又要靠他们照顾父母。我这些年也算孝顺,每年都给他们一点钱。他们是我的恩人。

我们这一代也许是不幸的一代。父母在,尤其老病的时候,真是应该守在身边。

4 comments:

东东 said...

我妈是北师大的, 你妈那届的

小乖 said...

July, my dad died of stroke when he was only 66, my brother died of an accident when he was 28... The King of Solomon said, we come from dust and return to dust... Everything has its season, if it's time for them to go, let them go peacefully, maybe that's better for them. We'll never know.

This is the only way I can keep peace with me. Do I really have peace? I don't know. If I can't die, I have to try to live each day the best I can.

Just want to share these with you to let you know that friends are there for you. After experiencing so many deaths in my life I still cannot say I understand your pain and anxiety, but I do feel for you and pray for you... Be strong, for your parents, your loved ones, and yourself...

鹿希 said...

欧,七月,我想的和你一样啊。面对孤独年老的父母不知怎么办,想了好几年,讨论了无数次都没有出路,这是近几年一直最令我苦恼不安的事。每次商量都不了了之,奈何,奈何。。。。

July said...

小乖,我是着急和内疚,因为在他们需要的时候无法帮忙。就像你说的,如果人生还有意义的话,就是亲情了。所罗门说了,人生除了空虚还是空虚,父母养孩子,花了这么多的心血,连最应得的都得不到,不更空虚了吗?

鹿希,真是没办法啊,他们也确实不愿过来,可家里真的没人关照。我都发愁了好几年了,现在更是愁。实在是过一天算一天。怎么都不行。我倒是希望当年不出国了。唉!